uglygirlsclub:

don’t date anyone who doesn’t want to hear your favorite song, watch your favorite movie, read your favorite book

(via deuxxlunes)

katara:

I am sick of people thinking deodorant is optional

(via brotherjem)

freshprinceofthefayz:

fangpants:

best part is that it’s even scarier when they lift the cup and nothing is there and they think it got out

i think you need a nap satan

zebbbbbitneverends:

WHO THE FUCK WAnts to lay in bed with me and kiss a lot

(via edifying)

meatbicyclevevo:

meatbicyclevevo:

What’s the definition of a will?

Come on guys it’s a dead giveaway

(Source: meatbicyclevevo, via hotboyproblems)

thissickbaet:

anonymousmisfit:

isolatedartisan:

italyans:

nasdaq:

#FridayFun time! Now here’s an innovation the world is ready for: The Cuddle Mattress, which introduces slats to the upper half of the bed, making it easier to slip your arm around your partner and still sleep in comfort. http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/08/27/216091675/weekly-innovation-a-mattress-that-makes-it-easier-to-cuddle

this is it.
THIS IS FUCKING IT.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF ARMS FALLING ASLEEP AND ACHING NECKS WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED
THERE IS NO MORE WORRYING NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE FOAM STRIPS TO SHOVE OUR GRUBBY LITTLE ARMS INTO. JUST THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITIES. MAYBE SOME KID CAN FILL A PLASTIC BAG WITH LUBE, TUCK IT BETWEEN THIS SHIT, AND JUST GO TO FUCKING TOWN ON THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART MATTRESS 
BUT THATS NOT ALL. DO YOUR FUCKING TOES GET COLD? SHOVE YOUR FEET IN THESE CUSHIONS AND SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING YOUR FOOT-NUBS ARE FREE OF THE COLD.
NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSER WHILE YOU SLEEP? TOSS IT IN THE CRACK. AFRAID TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THEIR NURSERY? WEDGE IT INTO THE CRACK. JUST FUCKING DO IT. EVER TEMPTED TO SIP A BEVERAGE WITHOUT GETTING OUT OF BED? SHOVE A CUP AND THERE AND INSERT YOUR STRAW. PRESTO-CHANGO, MOTHERFUCKERS. 
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. THIS BED CAN SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. GO OUT THERE AND BUY YOUR CUDDLING, MASTURBATORY, CHILD-AND-DRINK-HOLDING, PHONE-STORING MATTRESS RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD

Tumblr users should never make infomercials

Reasons why tumblr users should definitely write infomercials.


why would you shove your child into it what are you saying

vincentvangoth:

when u miss the last step on the stairs

image

(via crystallized-teardrops)

frejskamavor:

on a scale of fake pockets to nachos how good is your idea

(Source: sanastark, via banana-foreskin)


I AM HUGGING YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU
ALSO SOMEONE ATE ONE OF YOUR SHOES BUT THIS IS NOT ABOUT THAT
oboesapien:

I may just be a music major, balloon company…
But I’m pretty sure white eighths don’t exist. 
"…And please remember that you were beautiful before he told you that you were."
(via mermaidsongs)

(Source: c-oquetry, via crystallized-teardrops)

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